~ ~ ~ Social Growth ~ ~ ~

Favoritism is a natural behavior with dark sides needing tempering.  Each of us are partial to friends, family and love ones.  It’s a way to build durable companionship, strengthening viable futures for each involved.  In building such bonds, tribes are formed.

No matter how many reject the tribes, people build them every time they group together with common interests.  They could attach any term they wish, though at the root, they’re forming tribes.

Many call the Republican-Democrat divide tribalism, indicating that people are forming tribes.

There are dark sides to this tendency, manifesting when people decide other ways and people are not worthy of their uniqueness. Since partiality excludes those who are not part of the tribe, resentment builds when groups are not afforded the same level of opportunities.

If they are not part of the ‘commonality’ of your tribe, they are considered outsiders and don’t deserve opportunities.

Each group works to grow their prosperity – often at the expense of other people.  Excluding people due to differences creates division, though this is common – even by those demanding equality.  [see Bipolar Societies for the ‘Us and Them’ behavior so prevalent in the early Twenty First Century.]

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Many organizations are exclusive, though some have been forced to be more inclusive while others still hold distinctive memberships.  Girls have pushed themselves into the Boy Scouts of America (now known as Scouts BSA), seeing it as unfair they were excluded.  Even with the inclusion, some troops are exclusively for girls within Scouts BSA.

For many obvious reasons, boys (unless identifying themselves as girls) are not allowed in the Girl Scouts of America. There are reasons for such exclusion, though it highlights biases permeating through all the peoples. No matter how it’s justified, exclusions come down to biases, with people rejecting others for their differences.

~ ~ ~

In discussing social relations, one must accept their own biases, realizing each and every person comes to conversations with a variety of biased views and ambitions.

When one becomes offended by someone else’s biases, they often declare bigotry. A good number of people believe ‘bigotry’ is restricted to the exclusion of a group of people due to their complexion. In doing so, the dialogue of social relations become tainted and limited, favoring a group of people.

Simply put; biases that any person possesses is bigotry, no matter how it’s justified. When expressing favoritism and bias, one is expressing bigotry.

As harsh as that sounds, it happens each and every day.  Every time a person criticizes the length of guys hair, that person is presenting biases and bigotry.

If a woman’s skirt is seen as too short, it is showing bias and bigotry.

If a woman is criticized for showing too much cleavage or for being considerably buxom, one is showing bias and bigotry. 

If one remarks, ‘Would it kill the guy to wear a tie,’ bias and bigotry is shown.  Does the tie make a masle a man? 

Discriminatory remarks about any attire – whether seen as foreign or strange – bias and bigotry is being expressed.

When declaring the need for restorations regarding slavery while ignoring the atrocities inflicted on American Natives; favoritism, bias and bigotry is applied.

If one criticizes a person for being heavy, one is showing bias and bigotry.

This behavior goes on and on, and on.

~ ~ ~

As most writers and politicians will say; words matter.  Declaration of standards creates biases and bigotry, and it all comes with words and phrases.

‘Is that a woman or a man?” the singer asks, implying the musician had long hair and it offended a number of people.

Selection of words is tricky when conveying concepts, especially when critics are quick to press their own biases and agendas on situations for their own advancement.

It’s becoming more difficult to speak and write without critics ripping at each phrase, applying their own biases and bigotry.  Even this article will be picked apart by people, each critic making bias opinions of the meaning.

The meaning of this article is that people need to cease finger-pointing as a means to elevate their own advancement, prestige and influence at the expense of others.

When a person ridicules another – instead of seeking beneficial qualities others have – critics are fueling discord and division.

Each person expecting others to capitulate to standards associated with what those individuals hold dear, those persons are pressuring their own individual biases on others, instigating discord and division.

Critics to this and other Arinorin articles may say, “This author is pressuring an agenda of their own. Well – yes; there is truth of that. As stated earlier, each and every person brings biases and agendas to the conversation.

Even Thomas Jefferson had biases and agendas. What he did was express them in words, hoping people would find wisdom and adopt the best he had to offer.  His presentations are different from the criticisms most people present. Since most people criticize others for their own personal gain, and not for the benefit of all unique peoples, they differ from what Thomas Jefferson was saying.  He tried writing to benefit all peoples, even if others corralled his meaning and he ultimately succumbed to pressures.

Most people criticize others to elevate their own meager status to greater heights than their minor contributions would allow under more balanced recognition. If true tangible effort – not promises – were considered in balance, others would get higher recognition. The Meager Majority  would not be elevated.

~ ~ ~

When it comes to accusations of blunders and implied wrongdoing, each person should look closely at why they themselves are being so critical of others – especially if they are imperfect.

Will those same critics present their own faults and blunders with as much zeal – or justify the criticism of others under the guise of creating a better society? Are they using such guise as means to belittle others for their own progression?  Or – are they pointing fingers at others to distract from faults they themselves have?

Few will honestly scrutinize one’s own actions, though are quick to place their biased views on others. What is clear, is the pressure they put on others, imposing their own favoritism and agendas, elevating their own self-worth and position over others, even if they lack tangible contribution of their own [see Me Absolute]. Critics are quick to cut others down in order to elevate their own self-worth.

~ ~ ~

Critical phrases used to denounce anyone for the sake of elevating their own self-worth is quite common in this modern age. ‘Is that a woman or a man?’ ~ ‘Put on a tie; it’s professional.’ ~ ‘Don’t eat hamburgers; vegetarian diets are superior.’

It’s easy to accuse others of demeaning behavior, even racism, when someone is blocking your path. However, is the blockage based on actual bigotry, or are they just striving for limited positions, and competition demands the person to act out by any means possible?

The answer to that question produces another dialogue for social growth. [See Bipolar Societies.]

~ ~ ~

Are ridicules and critiques aimed at others a means to cut the other person to shreds in order for the accuser to appear superior and righteous?

It’s easy to level accusations and criticisms for self elevation.  The Forty Fifth U.S. President made this behavior his signature strategy.

Applying bias-based accusations fuel discord, making it harder to bring all unique peoples together in peaceful, harmonized coexistence.

Each of us have differences that makes us unique. Let people stop ridiculing others for self gain and worked to bring all unique peoples together.  Let us all recognize the qualities of each person – no matter who they are.

Also re member; no person has the time to listen to each and every dispute.  Talk amongst yourselves about who has favorable qualities and promote those qualities, elevating the worthy.

Don’t assume that if a person strives for greatness, they must be against you personally, or they hold some bigotry within them to hold you down.  Though, there are many who would, so each person needs to be viewed with balanced perception.

Each unique person has their own desires, striving for expression, acceptance and prosperity.  Don’t begrudge them those desires, though ensure they have tangible contributions to praise – not promises.

Integrating others having tangible qualities and contributions enables everyone to share in prosperity based on their quantifiable abilities.

Judge tangible qualities fairly.   Don’t assume if a quality is different than your view, it has to be false and not worthy of attention.

Also, ensure contributions are not rehashing prior applications.  It is common for people to repackage efforts of others as their own.

Since we all build on the works of others, ensure the building is truly unique and substantial enough to be their own, not just repackaging someone else’s work under a new label. A considerable number of people have done so, including the Forty Fifth U.S. President.

Each person must present their own tangible accomplishments, showing their true qualities – not just declaring promises or claiming the effort of others as their own.

Also, don’t force mediocrity on others or the society by cutting people down with criticism that is self-serving and a means for elevating oneself over others without actual tangible qualities to contribute.

Show your own tangible accomplishments without excuses, as well as respect the tangible achievements of others.  Praise others for their tangible qualities instead of demeaning them as a means to raise one’s own self-worth.

~ ~ ~

When thinking of bringing criticism to others, consider your motivations and what you bring to conversations and dialogue.  Does the criticism make the other person better, or are you attempting to degrade that person in order to elevate your own status within society or to impress friends, family and loved ones?

If a person deserves elevation, do so. Let your own tangible qualities and contribution speak of your social worth.  When complementing others for their worth, do so without attaching conditions, such as, ‘That person does well, however, I can do better if given a chance.’ [See Me Absolute.]

Only if each person recognizes the best in others, will we grow from the fuming discord permeating through these societies. 

Let’s recognize that each unique person has qualities they bring to societies and worked at harmonizing those unique qualities in a chorus.  Ensure that criticisms elevates worthy persons to higher levels – not applying means to demean them for one’s own self gratification.

Applying efforts to elevate worthy people of societies – not just your self and those like you – creates grander societies.  If we honor the tangible qualities of others, all communitie s and societies will be stronger, and all unique peoples would benefit.  This also goes for Democrats and Republicans, as well as other political parties.

~ ~ ~

If one finds themselves criticized for expressing concepts, consider what the critic brings to the discourse, dialogue and conversation.

If critics are applying criticism as a form of self-elevating bias, question that person’s motivation.  Ask,  “What is it you find offensive?” ~ “Is this outcry due to your own biases and prejudices against me?” ~ “What do you expect to gain from the criticism?” ~ “Are you criticizing my effort in order to be demeaning as a way to elevate your own status in society at my expense?”

Favoritism and partiality is a natural manner.  However, if it is applied to destroy other worthy persons for one’s self gratification and position, all societies suffer.  Such behavior creates discord and division, a trend that festers into greater conflicts.

Let each of us work to create harmonious existence of all unique peoples within communities across the societies.

BCW-JZ

Other related Arinorin articles: 

Bipolar Societies exposes trends toward two sides of discord and conflict.

Me Absolute discusses the growing self-serving trend of accusations.

Most all – if not all – sociologists would agree that people, old and young benefit from social games. Personal interaction with people is important for social development and relations.  When people isolate themselves from interacting with others, social disconnection and discord arises.

On occasion in early October, 2008, NWB received a series of short texts from a femella he did not know. Confused as to who it was, he called the associated number.  The woman answered with, “What?” NWB stifled the desire to ask, “Is that any way to answer a call?”  Instead, he explained, “I received a text from you.” Without warning, she hung up, then sent a text message stating; ‘I must’ve gotten the wrong number.’ That became clear, though she could have said so on the phone since they were connected. Clues within the brief text statements made NWB think the femella was a student, wishing to compare study notes with someone.

That is a mere example of the lack of social interaction arising from the dependability on texting as their primary means of communication. In losing oneself through texting, people lose social protocols and decency.  The way that person answered the phone is an example of the lack of social connect ability that gaming in person can help resolve.   A bit of education on proper etiquette would also help.

The growing trend of people isolating their interactions to omnivices (multimedia devices) and computers disassociate them from the fabric of society and they lose the continuity of relations.

Social games – neighborhood softball, soccer, board games, poker, chess, checkers, hide-and-seek, kick the can, even tiddlywinks  – allows for in-person interaction. Such interactions is important for social adjustment and cooperation, and games help strengthen the social bonding.

As a response letter in scientific America expressed, the common acceptance of rules in those and other games brings people to interact in social manners.  The letter also pointed out the ability to cheat with omnivice-computer games without social implication shapes a person’s behavior to believe they are able to do so throughout their lives.  They even come to believe they should cheat in order to be more successful than others.

Such people will likely be successful, but it is at the expense of decency and we see that problem growing more each week.  With more and more people losing touch with social decency, problems within the society are growing more disruptive and will only become worse.

It’s not just the lack of playing social games in person.  The simple behavior of losing oneself within any electronic device deprives a person of social interaction and bonding.

Much has been said about disconnection of people due to such devices. If you’re one of those who find themselves spending a lot of time relating to others through omnivices, take a couple minutes and look around the lunch room at work or school – or even at home – and observe how many are lost in their tiny little world with people around them doing much the same.

There was an observation of four youthful men at a food court.  For nearly an hour, the four were observed not exchanging any form of dialogue, even though they were sitting at the same table.  Each was texting and reading from their omnivices.  Eventually, they got up and departed.  The entire time they were sitting, even when they were walking away, no conversation was observed and they were interacting only with the devices.  Possibly; they were conducting their own social experiment and was waiting for someone to ask them about their behavior – though no one did.

The disconnection in this lack of social interaction has lethal consequences.  There are many reasons why violence is escalating throughout the United States as well as the world, though more and more evidence is pointing to this lack of social bonding that games could help resolve.

What must be done to help people reacquaint themselves with others?

There are simple solutions, though it would require people to gather together in pleasant, civil conversation away from their media devices.  Each person must realize omnivices should not be there primary means of communication with people.

When conversing with people – and one should do so in person if at all possible – don’t let the media devices be distracting.  Be with the person you’re with and not let the devices pull you away.

If not able to be in person, converse with them through the phone option on the omnivice.  Much is lost through texting.  It is amazing how people lose touch with others through texting. 

How much social games themselves could correct this growing problem will only be settled if people start interacting in social play.  That will require getting off the omnivices and computers for a period of time to socially interact with other people in person.

Always understand that the media devices are tools and decent social etiquette, whether in person or on the phone, is a valued commodity one should embrace.

MediaGens – generational persons raised, or entrapped, by mind numbing effect of omnivices (multimedia devices) – have lost the sense of social interaction and companionships to the draw of constant stimulation.

More guidance and research is needed to help curtail the volatility related to becoming engulfed by the lure of omnivices – the so-called smart phone.

Though it’s been stated the rash of violent outbreaks may not be directly linked to such devices, it is clear antisocial behavior does arise from such engulfing use of omnivices.

In the past, personal interaction video and role-playing games were criticized for violent content. However, simply looking at the trend to violent outbursts shows no connection to such activities.  A major difference between what games of the past and the isolating effect of omnivices is that personal interaction.

Anyone believing texting, tweeting or otherwise interacting most of their time on social media formats – rather than in-person or phone conversations – are entrapped in an antisocial environment brought about by such devices.

Omnivices are a tool that can benefit people, as long as they do not distract from the needs of social interaction, their vocations and personal relations.

If you find yourself with people and you’re using omnivices instead of talking with those around you, your a multimedia addict and subject to outbreaks from such mind numbing engulfment with the devices.

If you find yourself checking omnivices while talking with people, you’re distracted and are not fully engaged with those around you.

If you find yourself upset at people not texting you before calling, even being upset at visits, your addiction to the multimedia device is drawing you further away from personal relations.

Also, creativity is loss with the entrapment of the omnivices.  Creativity requires a free mind and multimedia devices pulls the mind into distraction. A creative mind needs to flow free in order to elevate the inner thoughts.  Though concepts may be derived from media through omnivice tools, hours away from the distractions such devices create are needed for true creativity.

Vocations can also suffer, should people become distracted by the omnivices and not pay attention to their environment.

Look around.  People are lost in their devices.  After recognizing those people who are distracted by their devices, contemplate your usage with an honest view, realizing you are likely a multimedia addict.

If the device is not just a tool to join you to other people for device-free relations, then you are using the device as a crutch, becoming antisocial.

Put those devices away. It is not enough to just set them down.

The devices must only be a tool to make your life better.  They must never become a distraction.  Omnivices are used more and more as distractions from perceived hardships of life.

It is easy to become engulfed in the ‘convenience’ of such multimedia devices, the so-called smart phone, losing sense of relationship with other people – even feeling they are persecuting you personally.

If there are true hardships in one’s life, omnivices are not the cure. Such devices are often part of the problem.

Just as people ingest pain relievers to suppress physical discomforts, instead of seeking true remedies for the cause of the discomfort – something physicians referred to as ‘treating the symptoms’ – distracting oneself with multimedia devices does not bring remedy to the causes of one’s hardships.

To remedy life’s hardships, one must become proactive in finding solutions.  Being social animals, those solutions are usually found in true relationships – not the perceived relations that arise from omnivices.

Multimedia devices is only a distraction, and those distractions prevent people from social interactions. They also distract from paying attention to their vocation, or from seeking assistance with their lives.

Becoming lost from surrounding environments and nearby people, tension rises from lack of social relationships. That distracted tension leads to volatility.

Always remember; omnivices are tools – nothing more.  Put away such devices for several hours at a time and fully engage socially with people around you.  Talk and learn from people. Truly engage with people with out such devices around.

If you leave devices well out of the environment, you will notice how others are distracted by them, causing them to ignore you within the relation.  If you are not distracted by the mind numbing devices, you will notice how people are lost to you.

Also remember; information and videos found through media-line channel can be informative, though more often deceptive, leaving to false understandings.  Many articles and videos will discount realities. Consider the amount of information presented to discount evolution, the makeup of the universe (like the promotion of flat Earth views) and global warming.

Verify information through many credible sources.  Such sources are available, though make sure they are truly credible – having data driven information and peer review evaluations.

Also ensure the agenda of the sources.  Realize each person has biases and desires, and their perspective reflects that. That goes for the author of this article as well.

The bias, desire and agenda of the author of this article stems from the number of friends lost through the texting nature of omnivices. A great number of friends had said, “Just give me a text. I’m too busy to talk on the phone.”

That antisocial behavior creates a detachment from society, building volatility and anger.

There are many opinions on the subject.  Each perspective is helpful in growing a broader view of societies and the universe, as well as those living in the layers of our environment.

Set aside the devices and be with people.  Think beyond the devices and see those around you as relations.  Talk with them. Don’t become lost by the mind numbing effects of omnivices.  Such loss of social relation leads to volatility, frustration, anger and outbursts that often results in deaths.

Be kind to each other.  Gather with people with device-free relationships. Communities have lost the social interactions in a commercial or agenda driven environments – such as shopping malls and church-temples.

Communities must form non-pressured places to gather, allowing people to socialize naturally with out the pressures of commercial or agenda driven environments.  Town squares with non-fee interior spaces must be available for people to gather and socialize.

It is understood that many of such open forums have become a gravity force for the disenfranchised people of society – the alcoholics, homeless and such.  Those people need an avenue for assistance and regrowth into the society free of agenda pressures.  That is a subject for another article, though related to solutions for the growing volatility of society that is stemming from devices.

Re-creating society into a broader acceptance and caring environment is not an easy matter, though must take place if we are to curtail a trend towards volatility that is leading to greater and greater loss of lives through the disconnection of people.

Understand the role of each person’s distraction with their media devices and one can see how this leads to the disturbing trend we see around us.

Don’t take this article as absolute knowledge.  It is not presented as such.  Put away your omnivices and take hours, even days, to relate and talk with people.  If you do so, there’s a good chance you would see the effects such devices are having on people.  You would see how they are distracted from you – as you were distracted by your own devices.

As theaters request that devices are put away and turned off so the enjoyment of everyone viewing the presentation are not disturbed, ensure social relations are not disturbed by the devices.

Turn them off and put them away for a time.  You can always come back to them later to check a few things.

More time should be spent in non-distracted relations than on the devices.  If your devices are not out of reach most of the time, you may be more of a problem than a solution.

A discussion on the subject with a friend on the phone led to that person relating a song by Simon & Garfunkel.

For the record, him and I talk regularly on the phone.  Yes, that discussion was on the phone, not as a media device.  We talk on the phone because the friend lives hundreds of miles away in another state and could not be seen in person.

As for the song mentioned; decades ago, Sound of Silence was released regarding the distraction of people and how it was disturbing societies. That song may be more pertinent to our present day situation than it was when it was released. ‘Silence, like a cancer, grows.’

Every time you sit amongst people, and each are lost in your omnivices, you are in silence – and like the cancer mentioned in the song, that silence spreads and grows.

For decades, people have been warning about this antisocial distraction of media devices – even if they didn’t have such devices in the past.  Are we going to allow people to numb their minds; or are we going to strive for a broader inclusion of unique peoples and be the social creatures we are?

Let us not forget our social nature, letting us remember that societies need a considerable number of unique persons.  Homogenization of people limits the unique nature and creativity of the population.

BCW-JZ.